I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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