Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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