FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
