I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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