Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
