this boner is exhausting
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it glows. i had to have it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
