Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's rum buckets o'clock
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
