FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
