my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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