I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
