My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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