She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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