oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
