guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
