You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize