Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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