ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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