I like to think it a success when the cops are called
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
