Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
