Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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