At least make sure they are 18
Why
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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