Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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