The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
