Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
