im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
