i think my tv is drunk
I think my vagina is haunted
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave