i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man