We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe