Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize