DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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