no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
