My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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