Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
