there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
