she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
