You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
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Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
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Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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