I just made out with a guy for $7.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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