you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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