why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
