Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
