Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
