Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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