Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
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I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have feelings that need drinking.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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