RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
