She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
