Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
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Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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