Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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