she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
NoShamevember. You game?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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