so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
