I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
