can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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