even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
