Christians are straight up FREAKS
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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