i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
