Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
