mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
