You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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