Plan B is the new Plan A
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize