she kept yelling 'call me bella'
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
