but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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