And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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