i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
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Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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