Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Two words: nipple clamps
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