i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
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Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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