He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
