i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
