So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Two words: blizzard sex
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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