Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
People in love make me want to vomit
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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