dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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